New Year: New Adventure

Many of you may already know that I have been offered a position as a Nurse Resident on an ICU floor at a top notch hospital. It's my first grown up job. And it also requires me to move across the country to a place I've never been to. This new year has a lot of firsts for me. It has a lot of unknowns.  But it's also a blank page, a new chapter, and a chance to become even more like the person God is creating me to be.

Although I'm excited for the chapters ahead, I can't help but remember how blessed I am to be here. This is where I found myself. It's where some of my closest friends and I share innumerable memories: nursing humor, life's low points, studying abroad, studying in the library, early morning clinical carpooling, the Healer's Art-- the list is endless.

I'm so grateful to BYU for getting me this far. I'm grateful for the support of friends and family. I'm grateful for the relationships that have developed and the lessons I've learned even if I was resistant to learning at the time. I'm grateful for the chance to attend a University that allows us to welcome the spirit and encourages us to seek its companionship intertwined with our studies. I'm grateful that I was able to learn the Healer's Art with the help of the spirit, because I know the spirit will guide me as I care for God's children. I know I'm well prepared. I know I'm ready.

But it's still hard to go.

This place is home now. It will always be a home away from home. Where people still reside that I care for and love. Where the bell tower still sings at noon. Where the Spirit of God works in the hearts of students and enables them to become their best.

My new adventure starts now, and it's going to be awesome. 

Hardest Shift Yet

The day you care for a patient in the same room your friend died in just months earlier.

It's tough.

It'll all work out

Life has been hard. Lately I've thought that I have to do it all on my own. Work x amount of hours a week, intern x amount of hours a week, write research papers, present at scholarly conferences, interview with big name hospitals, prepare for the NCLEX, attempt a social life -- you name it. I've been overworked and spread thin and I've been down and exhausted. I must have forgotten along the way that God has the power to do all things, and that with God I can do all things. 

All Christ asked of the Leper, the lame, the blind, and the sick was "come unto me". And he healed them. He's a man of miracles. Is it really so hard for me to believe that he could do the same for me? I'm stuck in the mentality that I have to do it all on my own, but it's a lie. 

Why is it so hard for me to believe that God wants nothing less for me than happiness? Why is it so hard for me to remember that with God I can do anything. Why is it so hard to remember that he is ready to bless me infinitely if only I just ask him to?

The reality of it all is that I can't do it on my own. I was never asked to do it on my own. He promised he'd be there every step of the way whether I recognized it in the moment or in hind sight. God has a plan, he sees the big picture, and I need to learn to just trust that in his own perfect timing, everything will work out.

Fashion Statement

Sometimes I wear slippers at work. 

Oh, that night shift life.

Thoughts On Change

Change makes us uneasy. It's unknown territory and often times we feel pressured into change after we've grown considerably comfortable where we are. 

But I've come to learn that change is the only constant (as ironic as that is). Change is something we can count on. Time is it's catalyst. Time goes on. Sometimes it's slow and then sometimes it flies. And maybe we aren't always satisfied with the speed of time, but time doesn't stop. We continue to progress, and change happens.

We turn another page or another year older. We reach a goal and make a new one. People move around the corner, across town, beyond the state line, and across the globe. We start a new chapter. We meet new people. We find home away from home. Change happens.

I'm excited for a new chapter, really. It's new and it's different. It's out of my comfort zone. The silverware is in a new drawer, I roll out in the opposite side of the bed, and classes are 12 hours long.

But change is good. Change makes me better. It's through change that I learn to lean on The Lord. It's through change that I learn who I am, my strengths, my shortcomings, and my potential. 

I'm grateful that change doesn't change.

That One Time I Graduated From Nursing School

Well, this happened last week.

Plan Z

You know when you begin to finish one chapter and another one is on the verge of beginning? 

I'm there right now in the book of Jeshi. 

And let me tell you, I really hate the whole endless-unknown-possibilities thing. 

You see, I'm a planner. I plan ahead. I like to know what I'm doing and how I'm getting there etc, etc. I dream up the perfect plan and I execute it to the best of my mortal abilities. But I'm learning that everything I want isn't exactly what The Lord wants for me. When my plan goes off course I tend to panic and question everything. I know God sees the big picture. Sometimes it calms my anxiety, but other times it makes it soar through the roof. I'm learning to accept that He knows what is best. And I'm learning that giving Him my will is the only thing I really have to offer Him for all He's given me. It's hard to accept. But God knows what He is doing. He doesn't make mistakes. I have no need to fear or worry. God has it all under control, and it's out of mine, and you know what-- I think that after a little practice--I can get used to this. 

After all, He is God.