Tender Mercies Part 3

The moment you hit the snooze button on a Monday, you know you're in for it.

I fell back asleep with the snap of a finger, dreamt about people I'd never met and shoes being much too small, only to realize in my dream that I was late for work.

Late for work?
Late for work!

And I was out of bed, ready, and out the door in about 40 seconds.

Don't worry. There were mints in the car.

I prayed fervent prayers that God would clear the roads and blind the cops. I broke a few speeding laws and made it there only slightly late. I'm so glad God knows me well enough to plan for days like these. Just another tender mercy making another ordinary day something extraordinary. Kudos to you, God! 

Love More

Sometimes you know it's coming and other times it hits you like a bus. This one was a bus out of nowhere. 

As a nurse death is inevitable -- as a human it's inevitable. We see both sides. The deceased and the survivors. But let's be honest here, the survivors don't survive without losing pieces of themselves too. We see it everyday; the day of their last breath, the day denial becomes a coping mechanism, the day depression settles in to stay and the day depression decides to overstay its welcome. We see the day bargaining with God becomes a plea with promises of change and loyalty. We see the day when anger breaks the pieces of themselves that they struggled to keep together. We see the day when grief becomes a lifestyle and breathing becomes a chore. 

We watch people die in our skilled hands after everything we can do. The people who are supposed to make it through a simple surgery get the short end of the stick and the people with all odds against them become medical miracles. It's just how life is. Death comes quickly, and we are never the same.

Life is fragile.

People aren't permanent.

If you love people, tell them you do. Go out of your way to tell them. And if you don't love someone as much as you think you should, learn to love them.

Life is short. Love more.

Home

Today we finished touring Dehli. We visited Ghandi's Memorial and the Lotus Temple. I even pedaled a rickshaw through the busy streets of Dehli and explored rooftops like I was Aladdin. 

We met Praveen, his wife Monica, and their two awesome kids, Melissa and Maxwell. Monica taught us how to make aloo curry and puri. Indian food is good in restaurants, but it's so much better homemade. We spent our last few hours at the street market-- it's cool to see the change in us. We've mastered bargaining and we're so much more comfortable here than we were a month ago.

They say we're heading home tonight. Two long haul flights: the first from Dehli to Paris, the second from Paris to Salt Lake City. The thing is, I feel like I'm leaving home, not returning home. It's strange to think I could fall so madly in love with a place, a culture, and its people in such a short time. But I have. I have a new family and new friends. And even though it has only been three days since we left RSO, it feels like a lifetime ago.

I'm worried I'll forget their faces and their stories. I'm worried I'll forget the sounds of the kids calling for me on the playground and the sounds of my friends and I as we laughed and worked with the colonies. I'm worried I won't remember the feelings of the spirit and the love that was rendered to me so freely. I'm afraid I'll return to the states and forget the things I've learned and that I won't change from this experience. And leaving India makes it difficult to maintain composure of my tear ducts. 

So excited for western toilets and running water in Paris!

Yay for clean bathrooms! #jumpingbathroomselfie

We made it to SLC!

Happy Father's Day!

Because we spent Father's Day on the other side of the world, we did something special for our dads. Take a look!

I'm so grateful for my dad. He's my best friend, my number one fan, and my protector. He has always supported me in my dreams-- whatever size they may be. He loves me endlessly, and I know that it will never change. The man I marry one day will have big expectations to live up to and I am so grateful for that. I love you Faja, because you are my everything.

The Taj Mahal

Sunday morning we woke up 4am (dark and early) so we could see the Taj Mahal at sunrise. I have to admit that I knew nothing about the Taj Mahal before I visited Agra, but since learning about it, I know of no better love story. The marriage between Shah Jahan and the Persian Princess Mumtaz Mahal was a love marriage. This is significant to note because in India, arranged marriage is a part of the culture. It is common, and it is respected. Even today arranged marriages take place. They had 14 children, 8 dying during or shortly after child birth. The queen died at age 39 due to complications with the birth of her fourteenth child

After she died, the king had the Taj Mahal built in her loving memory. The Taj Mahal is actually a mausoleum and the queen's tomb lies within it. The Taj Mahal is 1.4 million tons of marble. I didn't know that number existed. It's built on a foundation of tiek wood and it sits next to the Yamuna river, which happens to be the second holiest river in India. It is said to be sacred in that it frees one from the torments of death- coincidence? I think not. In all this time, the Taj has never sunk into the river bank. Can you imagine the foundation beneath 1.4 million tons of marble? It took 22 years to complete and about 22,000 of the best artisan workers and craftsmen from many countries. It is perfectly symmetrical, down to the finest details in the surrounding landscape. It is the only historic monument in the world  that symbolizes love. This man did nothing less than the best for the love of his life (men of the world, if you want to impress a girl, take some tips from Shah Jahan). Even after two other arranged marriages in his lifetime, he never celebrated his love for them like he did for her. His two wives from arranged marriages were buried outside the walls of he monument. When he died, he was buried beside her, becoming the only asymmetrical portion of the Taj Mahal.

I was talking to my friend, Alyssa, about the Taj Mahal and how much the king must have loved his wife to build such an incredible wonder in her memory. I decided that Heaven's gates will not be pearl-- but marble. The same marble as the Taj Mahal that glows when illuminated by sun or moonlight. Isn't it incredible to think about a love story like theirs, and then to put into perspective how much God loves us? I'm sure he has built us all palaces out of marble simply because he loves and misses us. If this is the case, how much more beautiful could heaven get? I assure you there is nothing more beautiful.

Namaste!

Capstone here we come!

Dani * Me * Kendra * Janeen

After visiting the Taj Mahal we had a bit of a break so we could sleep, but when we reconvened we set out to visit another shop. It Is owned by the same family line that originally built the Taj Mahal. They specialized in marble inlaying of semi precious stones including onyx, lapis from Afghanistan, mother pearl , carnelian from Arabia, jasper, turquoise from Tibet, etc. The marble is hand carved and the stones are also cut and perfected by hand. The colors are vivid and bright.  My favorite is the Carnelian stone. It's orange, and when you shine light on it, it glows and illuminates the stone. The marble carving and inlaying of stone is still a family business and the glue they use is still a family secret. 

If you know how much I love the Taj Mahal, you'll understand when I tell you that I was so in love with this little shop. There weren't enough rupees in my pocket for me to purchase works of art from here, but I took some pictures of the details so you can enjoy them too.

Before we left Agra we stopped by McDonalds for a much needed and anticipated ice cream run. I paid 14 rupees for it-- which is about a quarter in the States. We said goodbye to our Agra tour guide, Ramesh, and started out on our five hour drive to Dehli. 

We spent our last night in India in Dehli, all dreading goodbye, but excited to return home. We picked up personal pizzas at Pizza Hut and headed up to our rooms to eat. And, can you believe it? I set off the strip on the back of our room key again-- just like I did our first day here (it only happens when Kendra and I are roommates). We had a good laugh about that.

I'm grateful we were saying goodbye to Dehli, because if I had had to leave India and say goodbye to my friends at RSO in the same day, I think It would have been so much harder. We celebrated by piling all 14 of us into one hotel room and watching Austenland. We even managed to get some popcorn for the occasion. And then the day faded and we fell asleep, dreaming of India.

Dad, I Rode An Elephant

This morning after we ate breakfast we loaded our luggage into the bus and filed onto it. We were all so excited to start touring today because today is the day we got to ride elephants, in India. 

We stopped at a pink building and if it was important we don't know and we'll probably never know-- because we're girls and we saw a shoe shop. It's normal. Shoes in India? Please! Forget the pink building (even though it was pretty). Some of us bought shoes, and others forced our money to stay in our pockets. And those of us who were lucky enough to escape the temptation of shoes eventually met a snake charmer on the street. Of course we took the opportunity to hold a snake! And it came with a price, as all things do in India. (Traveling Tip: don't take pictures with random people. They demand payment after. Another story to come).

Also, the street vendors are persistent. Extremely persistent. And if I wasn't claustrophobic before my trip here, I sure am now. But seriously. Sometimes we get a bit frustrated because we want to enjoy India and the sites we only have this chance to see. And all the while we have Indian trinkets, blankets, and tourist spotters in our faces attempting to steal our attention and our rupees. It's all a part of experiencing India though. 

Some of my favorite sayings?

    "Only _____ rupees Madame!"

    "Top quality, Madame."

    "For you I give best price, student price, only _____ rupees."
    "Free, for a kiss."

We drove to the base of a mountain and saw elephants carrying tourists to The Amber Palace. I think our hearts all skipped a beat as we paired off. It seemed way to good to be true-- riding an elephant in India? Pinch me. We stood in line for an elephant ride among persistent vendors set on selling us outrageously priced souvenirs and then faster than I could think, I was riding an elephant in India. His name was "Jampa" and he was the best elephant. Dreams really do come true! Dani and I rode Jampa to the Amber Palace and then Ramesh and Raj took us on a tour of it. 

Ramesh and Raj take such good care of us. But seriously, if you knew how many times on the Dehli trip we could have been in serious trouble without Raj and Ramesh looking after us, you'd probably tip them well. Very well.

After the tour we headed back to the bus and paid way too much for pictures of Dani and me riding elephants. A woman with a small baby came up to me and asked if I'd take a picture with her baby-- she shoved the darling girl into my arms and Dani snapped a picture. Immediately following the picture, the woman demanded rupees. I've thought about this a bit, and realized how that precious baby girl was being sold by her own mother. It bothered me more the more I thought about it. I won't be taking pictures with anyone other than my nursing friends the rest of this trip.

We then stopped to take a picture at The Water Palace and saw camel rides across the street. Kendra and I decided to save some rupees on this round, and took pictures with the camels instead. The ten other girls with us jumped on camels for another ride.

We then set off on another 5 hour drive to Agra. If you've been following the blog, you know that this too is normal. They did not disappoint us with our hotel. We stayed at Jaypee Palace, and "Palace" was no understatement. I felt like royalty. They greeted us like tourists entering Hawaii with strings of flowers-- but Indian style with Jasmine. We met back up with Jaclyn and Kristin at this hotel and they'll be finishing their tour with us. It was so nice to have everyone together again. 

We then visited Agra Fort and learned a lot about how they had engineered air conditioning and heating systems without electricity in the past. It was so interesting learning about how resourceful and brilliant they were. 

A king that once lived there ruled for an extended period of years-- because the people respected him. The king had 3 wives (one Hindu, one Muslim, and one Christian) as well as over 365 concubines. That's more concubines than days in the Muslim calendar, mind you. We saw the parliament quarters where all things India were discussed. There were rooms painted in gold with precious and semi precious stones. It once had orchards in the courtyard, but then marijuana gardens replaced them when a different king took the throne (from the words of our tour guide he was very much an alcoholic). There were even market places within the fort where the king could shop for concubines while the prospective concubines shopped for other things. We even saw the living quarters of the rest of the royal family. We didn't get a chance to learn about or visit the mosque in the fort because it was under renovation. The Indian army still resides in the fort and occupies about 80% of the fort currently, so we only saw maybe 15% of the entire fort-- it's huge.

We had Dinner at the Taj Mahal restaurant and then visited a rug weaving factory. I have a whole different appreciation for rugs now. There were over 400 knots in every square inch! And every knot is tied by hand. They were flawless! Yogi, the shop owner, showed us around and let us take off our stinky, sweaty shoes and test out the carpets. They tried selling us rugs, but let's be honest: as beautiful as they were, there was no way we could afford those on a student budget. We sang "A Whole New World" and pretended to ride magic carpets instead. The pictures are a laugh and a half. It was great!

Yogi joked as he took a photo with us (14 young girls) that he was the richest man in the world-- that women were a great treasure. He was so sweet. He's been investigating the church the last four years. He told us how much joy living the Word of Wisdom brings to him. He says he doesn't want to make decisions too fast and I respect him for that. We've had lots of missionary experiences here. We aren't allowed to proselyte, but when people ask us questions, we always take the opportunity to answer them the best we can.

When we returned to the hotel we opened the door that joined our rooms with our neighbors Kendra, Andrea, and Rachel. I love these girls. We've become so much closer this trip and I'm grateful for the chance to make friends. We laughed about little moments from the day and about how ticklish Kendra is while looking at pictures of elephant rides and camels and soon thereafter, we passed out.

Jaipur

We woke up at 1am to drive the two hours to Chennai. Saying goodbye to Claartje and Ashley stung; goodbyes are the worst. Especially the ones when you know it's really goodbye. Dr. Susan and Abarna accompanied me on the drive in case of any emergency. They dropped us off curbside and it was hard to watch the RSO med van drive off. I stared at my feet and the sidewalk below me. I held back the tears. I didn't want to leave RSO-- and to be honest if I could trade the tourism trip we're on to stay at RSO for just one more week-- I'd stay at RSO with no hesitation. We made it through security and boarded our flight without any problems. I sat next to Kendra and Julia. We made it to Mumbai and had a couple hours of a layover before catching a second flight to Jaipur.

We landed in Jaipur and met Raj, our tour guide. We boarded the bus and headed to our hotel, The Ramada. It's actually super nice. Immediately after we checked in, we loaded the bus for lunch. Mind you, it was nearly 4 pm.

This bus was luxury. After our time at Rising Star, we
really enjoyed our own air conditioning vents. 

Being in Northern India is different than Southern. It seems to be more cultured and more wealthy. There are definitely slums, and they are hard to drive past. There are still kids begging in the streets to bring their parents a paycheck. There are still fruit stands. (And to be honest I think I've seen Aladdin and Abu a couple times). There are even mules pulling ancient looking carts around town among nice Audis. But it's wealthier. You can tell.

Jaipur is known as "The Pink City". It was painted pink to welcome Prince Albert of Wales. Before it was pink, it was once painted white, then yellow, and finally it was painted pink-- symbolizing luck and prosperity. The city is also known for its textiles and block printing. 

We toured around Jaipur today with a travel guide named "Sing". Actually, his real name is much longer and more complicated so he told all of us we could just call him Sing. We visited an observatory-- pretty cool for all you engineers and astronomers out there. Jaipur holds the record for the world's largest sun dial and we got to see it today. We could read the time within two seconds of what our phones had synced right off the stone. How crazy is it to think that people can measure and build things so exact? 

We also visited the City Palace. We got some great pictures there. We also learned about a king who once ruled Jaipur. He was 7 feet tall and 4 feet wide. He weighed over 550 pounds. We saw his pants -- and they were ginormous. I'm pretty sure that if anyone started the "ride your elephant to school" trend, it must have been him. He had to ride elephants because he was much too large for horses.

We visited a textile shop and learned about block printing with stamps. I loved learning about it. Their designs are beautiful and it was really fun watching them create art like I'd never seen before. They use the block stamps and dyes from vegetables to print designs on tablecloths, blankets, clothes, etc. 

We returned to the hotel at about 8pm. The group is meeting up for dessert and a movie in a room down the hall. But it's now 930 and I'm still drowsy from the Benadryl and the other medications Dr. Susan has prescribed. So I'm heading off to bed for some decent sleep. I'm loving it here. The people are beautiful. The culture is rich. There is so much to see. And I feel like a part of me has always lived here.

We Come Full Circle

Today we revisited Bharatapuram, our first colony. It was nice to finish where we started and come full circle. I loved seeing the familiar faces that were so grateful to see us. I use that word a lot to describe these people, but it's not overused. If anything it's not used enough. It's hard to describe the joy, relief, and love that these people express to and for us.

I passed medications to the patients with Abarna and Avery. I wanted to spend time with the people I felt I'd miss the most. Abarna taught me some more Tamil. I'm getting better at speaking the little bit of Tamil I do know. It's a work in progress, and I hope to continue learning more Tamil. 

We said goodbye to the medical team and Navamani, our incredible nurse. As you've probably already guessed, we sang a hymn to Navamani before we loaded the bus. She loves the hymns of the kingdom. We sang "God Be With You Til We Meet Again" and were all a bit emotional. We've spent so much time together and we've learned to love the medical team just as much as the patients we work with. 

On the way home we were graced with the familiarity of Pizza Hut. And this was not an Indian style pizza. It was full on American and delicious. I shared a veggie pizza with Dani. We were in heaven.

When we returned, half of us set off to the clinic on campus to prepare to give MMR vaccines to the new admissions and the UKGs. Little Sangita was my patient today. She screamed and hollered and squirmed as Craig held her in his lap. It was all anticipatory fear, but I felt so cruel poking her after I'd worked so hard to build a trusting relationship with her. I stuck her quad with the needle and plunged the syringe. She continued to cry, but crawled onto my lap and hugged me until she calmed down. I offered her some "chocolate" (aka candy) and her tears dried up and she was off to wait for her classmates so they could all head to the hospital for blood typing. The other half of us that didn't do vaccines went to the hospital with students for blood typing and although I had the option to join them, I chose to stay back and play with the kiddos one last time. I played hide and go seek tag with Gopi, Tiki, Valenkani, Dhanalakshmi, Veralakshmi, and a couple other students that I didn't have the privilege of being introduced to properly. I went all out at play time and made sure that all of my energy was left on the playground. 

Dr. Susan

After dinner we took pictures in front of our brand new mural. Dr Susan loves it because she feels it is a great reminder of the work they are doing at RSO. I agree. It's also a great reminder for us as individuals of the difference we can make in the lives of others. It reads, "We are his hands".

Kendra, Janeen, Dani, and I walked over to pick up dinner from the dining hall. We had a specialty dish for dinner since it was our last night. It happened to be fish and I avoided it. That is, I avoided what I could see. Little did I know the gravy/curry had fish in it too. And it just so happens that I'm allergic to fish-- sooo we had some role changes take place and a whole different meaning to the phrase practicing medicine. Instead of coming to India to be the nurse I became the patient. 

The staff was quick to help out. Almost 2 minutes after my professor had mentioned to me that there was fish in the curry, I felt it set in. My skin was itchy, my throat was itchy, and I started to cough. Immediately I left with my epi-pens in hand to grab Benadryl. Ashley followed. Shortly after, my professor met us in the kitchen of the elephant house. 

We ate cake to celebrate our time at RSO. It read "Nandree BYU Nursess". Ah. They always add some Indian feel to the spelling! The medical team arrived to help us out seeing that the last time I had an allergic reaction to fish, I went into anaphylaxis. After Abarna took my blood pressure, I felt so dizzy. I knew the reaction was picking up the pace but I tried to stay calm. They laid me down. They give me an IM dose of hydro-cortisone and some other medications while discussing the options of IVs, medical access, and what to do if my symptoms progressed. Honestly I don't know what made me more anxious-- the reaction, or the embarrassment/guilt. I wasn't careful enough. I usually am. And I wasn't able to say my last goodbyes to the students I've learned to love with every last piece of myself. It's weird to think I'll most likely never see them again, but I know that one day we'll see each other again when we stand at the feet of God.

Dr. Susan and Ashley prayed with me. I love Dr. Susan. She says, "God blesses those who do His work." My nursing friends and other volunteers prayed for me, and Dave and Craig gave me a blessing. I was concerned that they may have to send me home as a policy with BYU, and waiting for answers was agony. I refused to leave India, although I was medically advised to return to the states. I'm in a third world country and an emergent situation isn't ideal here. However, I worked hard for this trip and I wasn't about to let my dream of riding elephants, seeing the Taj Mahal, and experiencing more of the place that has become my home slip through my fingers. So I prepared to leave at 1am for Jaipur with the rest of the group. Abarna bunked with me to ensure medical attention was close by if needed. And soon after decisions were made, bags were packed, and rooms were tidy-- I was swept into sleep.

Rajasthan University Hospital

Friday we visited a hospital in Chennai called Rajasthan. It's associated with Rajasthan University. Similar to how the University of Utah works with their hospital. Only different. 

The block we visited had 1500 beds. There are rows of metal bed frames with patients filling them. There is no privacy, no curtains, no separate rooms with their own doors, temperature settings or televisions. The patients pay less than one American dollar to stay at the hospital-- we learned that the university pays for their expenses. It was far different from the Karagiri Hospital we visited previously.

Originally we were to accompany the students from RSO to make sure they were seen by hospital staff and that they received treatment. However, when the Dean learned we had arrived he insisted we have a tour. The medical team we work with at RSO assisted the students to their appointments and we set off on a tour of the hospital.

We visited the NICU with lots of tiny babies. The babies were larger than the smallest babies in the American Neonatal ICUs. Mainly because they don't have the necessary medical instruments and equipment to keep premature babies alive. Some of the babies were the size of my hand. They were so precious. I wanted to hold them, but I wasn't sure it'd be a great idea. They kept them warm with some very old bili lights and suran wrap. Different- but again just because the way they do things is different, doesn't mean it's not right.

The PICU was the hardest for me. There was a teenaged boy with Steven Johnson's Syndrome (an adverse effect from medications). He has osteomyelitis and after receiving chemotherapy, Steven Johnson's set in. There was also a young girl, maybe twelve ( she was small enough to be about 8 or 9), with cerebral palsey. She was admitted for her fevers and continuous seizures. She looked so scared. I think it hit me hardest because she reminded me of my friend Kelly who also has cerebral palsey. It was hard watching her seize and not being able to pick her up and hold her. I wanted to comfort her.

On the pediatric unit I met a little girl who shares my name. Jessie has leukemia, but you'd never guess she was ill. She was chipper and joyful and she loved meeting an American with her name.

We visited the gynecological unit last. I wanted to see the ICU, but we ran out of time. A lot of these women don't know how birth works. Puberty and sex education are conversations unheard of. Many women don't even understand that their menstrual cycles have anything to do with pregnancy. It's normal here. But it's difficult when you have that knowledge and the older girls at RSO ask you questions. They really have every right to know how their bodies work, but we must respect their culture and keep our teaching about these subjects simple.

After the hospital we stopped at the St Thomas martyrdom site/shrine. Many people know St Thomas as "Doubting Thomas". He preached the gospel in India after Christ died. His death is still a controversy. It's unknown how he died. Some suspect he was stabbed with a spear and others say he was shot with an arrow. The site was beautiful and the outlook from the top of the mountain over the city was spectacular. Many of us fell asleep on the way home. Just kidding, everyone did, and we have some great pictures. 

And of course, we made it back in time for my favorite time of day: playtime. I love these kids.

Dhanalakshmi

The Soccer Boys

And the rest of the Soccer Boys