Hardest Shift Yet

The day you care for a patient in the same room your friend died in just months earlier.

It's tough.

It'll all work out

Life has been hard. Lately I've thought that I have to do it all on my own. Work x amount of hours a week, intern x amount of hours a week, write research papers, present at scholarly conferences, interview with big name hospitals, prepare for the NCLEX, attempt a social life -- you name it. I've been overworked and spread thin and I've been down and exhausted. I must have forgotten along the way that God has the power to do all things, and that with God I can do all things. 

All Christ asked of the Leper, the lame, the blind, and the sick was "come unto me". And he healed them. He's a man of miracles. Is it really so hard for me to believe that he could do the same for me? I'm stuck in the mentality that I have to do it all on my own, but it's a lie. 

Why is it so hard for me to believe that God wants nothing less for me than happiness? Why is it so hard for me to remember that with God I can do anything. Why is it so hard to remember that he is ready to bless me infinitely if only I just ask him to?

The reality of it all is that I can't do it on my own. I was never asked to do it on my own. He promised he'd be there every step of the way whether I recognized it in the moment or in hind sight. God has a plan, he sees the big picture, and I need to learn to just trust that in his own perfect timing, everything will work out.