Wednesday, March 5, 2014

On Resolutions, Continued

Today I took an exam.

And as I looked up at the testing center screen that magically flashes my score among so many other hopeful students' grades, I cringed.

Let's just say, I've had much better exam scores.

I cried.

But if you remember correctly, I may have mentioned here that I was going to work on loving myself. I decided that I wouldn't let grades define me. I wish I could tell you I didn't define myself by my grades in that moment. But I did. I think a bazillion thoughts rushed my brain at once like the Utes rushed the Lavell Edwards Football Field. The timing was all wrong, and lets face it-- it was all kinds of poor sportsmanship. But my thoughts were eager to celebrate their victory over my self esteem.

How can I be a critical care nurse if I can't perform well on paper?

Easy. Just because I didn't answer the questions the way a professor, the NCLEX, or a textbook would want me to answer them-- doesn't mean that I am a failure.

So I picked myself back up, looked myself square in the eyes in the mirror, and told those rotten negative thoughts: "Grades do not define me."

Because they don't. Thank goodness for awesome roommates who remind me to love myself.

Now maybe I should focus on becoming a little bit more like this munchkin:

No comments:

Post a Comment